Which TV chef would you want to have prepare a meal for you?
Definitely Rachel Ray; she's a babe!
I'd have her whip me up some hash and grits for breakfast.
Awakened at six thiry by whoops and mumblings, increasing suddenly in volume as they enter our bedchamber, then quelled briskly by Kate and hustled out to the relatively distant living room. Snooze, inhaling smell of slept-on-pillow. Sounds of playing in background - an unending impromptu narrative of rhinos, baby rhinos, babble, whynot. Woken by a piercing shriek from the boy at six forty-five, subside, reawoken by the same sound, like that of a mockingbird, as well as the sprung of a small person clambering into my bed and the chittery yammering of a small girl.
Aquarium; axlotls, unnamed baby beluga (and mother and grandmother), swishing to the surface, spruffing air. During an impromptu training session, the belugas exhibiting their lollopy, good-natured ungainliness - which is not to impugn the dolphins with their precision. L arches his neck to gaze at the fluoro-lights rather than veg with the surfperch (though the moon jellies, renamed jellypi, and the huge dogfish are a hit).
Later, a rare daytime bath: I read ‘Vineland’ upon the toilet as E narrates the adventures of her toy rubber alligator: “he spinned around with his tail, he was grunting with joy”! Kate says they saw three wedding celebrations in Stanley Park the other day; the brides fully decked out receiving no comment from E, until to one side of the third party, whose bride was wearing a beautiful gown, a work of love, she noticed a flock of geese. Geese! Geese, mummy look at the geese! Long live this ungirlishness.
Then in the evening we go to Kate’s parents’ house for celebratory paella, cake, wine etc. I’m given a boning knife (hand-made, could be used for throwing at usurpers), a battery charger (?) and a book: the uncorrected proof copy of the Collected Letters of D.H. Lawrence, Volume II. His novels and poetry I absolutely loathe, but what I’ve read of his criticism is good and the letters are good. Later I’m forced to order vol I 2nd-hand on Amazon, in order to render the index fully functional.
What are your plans for the three day weekend?
I plan to get my hump on.
Yesterday I came home to a dragonfly, which had entered via the balcony and become disoriented. It had based itself in a windowless corner - or rather openingless, since the whole apartment is window - and periodically sallied out, zanting about the room in a panic, my daughter saying “he sure can fly” and “he sure can escape!” It was the size of a small hummingbird, bright yellow- and green-banded, with the familiar iridescence of the wings. I had never seen a dragonfly so close before; it had a corporality, a bodily strength which in an insect was exciting. Eventually I tried to waft it in the right direction with newspaper and fly-swat, but it was steady and unmoved; then I became over-enthusiastic and dealt it a glancing blow, which took the zip out of the poor creature so that it crawled meekly onto the swat and I shook it free out of the window to an uncertain fate, while I felt glum and oafish.
Later I learned from Wikipedia that “Japanese children catch large dragonflies as a game, using a hair with a small pebble tied to each end, which they throw into the air. The dragonfly mistakes the pebbles for prey, gets tangled in the hair, and is dragged to the ground by the weight.” Fine in theory, I suppose.
I woke up today with a dead arm, a dead neck and a dead ear. I was practically a corpse!
A recent study suggests that radiation from cell phones may cause cancer; what, if any, cell phone usage precautions will you take in light of this information?
Submitted by Tim.
There's nothing my tinfoil hat can't protect me from!
What is your preferred method of transportation for trips over a couple of hours and why?
Here are a few: Palanquin, trebuchet, dirigible, ornithopter, giant eagle, ruby slippers, giant peach.
Taken from 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.
There is a natural disaster headed your way. You get 4 standard sized canvas grocery totes to fill with valuables and provisions to bring with you to a safe place. What would you put into your 4 bags and why?
Submitted by dejablu503.
I would put my wife in one, my two children in another, and a copy of Moby-Dick in the third. I'd leave the fourth bag at home.
I am a farmer who raise ducks and cows. The animals have a total of 9 heads and 26 feet. How many ducks and cows do I have?
Submitted by The BlueTie.
Who's a clever little shitkicker, eh?
Show us a bird native to your habitat.
Steller's Jay (Cyanocitta stelleri). They land with a graceless thump, skitter and lurch oafishly, snaffle the biggest nut in sight, and flap manically up into a tree to scarf it down. I love them.
